As of this moment, memory lane, in regards to the following scripture, was two hours ago. Most of the titles are references to what some may say is, “pop culture.” In the case, Slim Shady. I think I am buffering/making light of whats to come although there’s no bad blood on my side because I actually don’t even hold people (especially men) to such a standard there could be bad blood… it would take a lot + this is impersonal – not in reference to me.

I am walking you through every thought and action taken with the addition of a little context. I wokeup having my period. This caused cramping, weakness, and hunger. I was and still am in a good mood (at bedtime). About the third call I hear on the radio as I turned onto 7th avenue from 92nd st., was a cardiac arrest that I thought was on 7th avenue and 47th st., three blocks from my station, but it happened to be 7th ave and about 43rd street. I asked my partner if we could buff it, disregarded (yesterday I did the same thing but regarded my partners desires even though that call would have been much more of a game changer than this call ended up being) and went over the air stating that I was 5 minutes away… that is always the ETA to buff a job, even if 45 blocks away. Dispatch stated, “there is already BLS on the job but I can’t stop you if you get flagged.” This means they will not put us on the job, making us eligable to go lights and sirens, but i went anyway. BLS, ALS, and the Boss was already on scene as we rolled up but my boss delayed going over the air to change the call type – it was not an “arrest.” I did wonder if this was purposful as I left the scene but that’s a strike for me because I am very fond of my boss. I think she playfully told me not to go lights and sirens again or she’ll… be one to see. I have to admit, in the future, I may or may not obey this direction, but I definitely will not run my chances for a 45 block distance again. This is just the context, and it is now complete.

The rest of the day was fine, I do enjoy being with my partner. At around 9PM we were back available after a thorough BBP (blood born pathogens… exposure… that needs disinfecting) and there we are, on 52nd and 6th, awaiting a last job without direct communication about our desires to time our night properly. I had mentioned that I wanted to get back to the station by 10PM to catch Messi play in the Argentina vs. Jordan game but my partner informed me that he wasn’t in the lineup, so I dismissed this idea (he ended up scoring in this game, I just caught myself up…). Cardiac arrest falls out of thin air, given only to an ALS unit, which I didn’t exactly realize at the time, but just didn’t care, because this time I was actually less than five minutes away. On the air the job was stated on “the 4th avenue R train” which rings immediately to me as my stomping grounds. It did happen to be on 4th and Bay Ridge Avenue, but truthfully could have been anywhere along the avenue. I went over the air (before knowing where it was… I guess this information is for dramatic effect… eek) and was assigned the job. I know my partner was wetting his pants as my rocket ship took off, as I crossed 63rd street and 4th avenue, I stated how much fun “this” was and he said, “yeah, just watch here.” Honestly, I thought he saw something that I didn’t at first, so I probably eased up about an additional 1%, but as his words rung in my ear, I began to think that was speech reflective of his flight reaction to the danger I was putting us in, which I may have to think more about before I have anything definitive to say. For now, I think limits are meant to be pushed on our job – that is the name of the game… a game written by the civilians of NYC. We made it safely and reacted with speed and efficiency. I pressed the 84, idled my truck, began communication about necessary equipment, took my phone and my keys, grabbed gloves and made my way to the back of the truck. On my way, having seen the firefighters’s truck arrived before us, I saw the engine company gallavanting on across the street, and for the sake of the nature of our job, the urgency was missing. Having much respect for these men, my first very quick fleeting thought was that they had information we didn’t so there was a better excuse, but quickly it settled in that my expectations are way too high and I shouted to them something along the lines of, “wow, you are moving with such urgency!” Ok, my partner and I verbalized, AED, suction, and when my partner mentioned a carrying device, I knew a backboard was a very important piece to the puzzle. After retrieving it, my partner had his hands full but said that he was steady so I made my way downstairs into the train station. First feeling was that of a desolate train station, where the movement of compressed air from the tunnels was the only thing speaking, but there was a man crouched on his heels, in the corner of the… pre-pay area, closing his eyes. I immediately even mumbled aloud my inquiry if this male was our patient, thinking that fire had actually already fled the scene due to a false alarm. Within a few seconds I saw them gathered and I craweled under the turn style, opened the door and collided with the long board and my partner, who had warned me of the traffic jam but I was moving too fast. No big deal, we made our way. I had asked, “what do we got?” Got a head turn from a few members but no response. As I approached I felt the mans pulse, it was strong on his carotided, Fire was rightfully giving narcan. The patients eyes were pin point and he had accessory muscle use. As I stood to think of the next step, the fire Lt. asked me if he was breathing, I said, “yes,” as he technically was and he advised his men to discontinue the BVM but I quickly snapped back and stated to not do this as we have no idea what his oxygen saturation is. He was stating at 43%, maintain BVM. At around 77% I said to discontinue but ALS (Rodriguez, the myth the legend) stated to maintain, he was stating 44% for them initally. This is when I asked fire if my cousin was working, one knew who I spoke of, the other smiled and said hes not in today. There was not much I could do at the time, but I did subconsciously find myself displeased with the lack of concern for the present moment, so I playfully asked ALS if they needed any help, “do you need anything from me boss… captain… princess?” We needed an NPA, which I retrieved and began shoving in the patients nose. This was my first time using an NPA on scene, my boss told me to be gentle from the background and my ego had to see who was talking to me before I complied (lets debate this). He did not take the NPA. Originally I had questioned the use of it only because I am used to an OPA but brother man stated he has a gag reflux so we moved on to an NPA. Neither worked and the plastic piece remains in the train station. The board was being setup and as I was trying to take the man’s jacket off to properly situate him on the board. The ALS began the log roll without my help, reaching under me awkwardly. The lack of communication really pisses me off, it is not hard and there was clear visual and verbal communication of what I was intending to do before movement. I had placed the patient in log roll position initially, showing an understanding of the next move but that’s okay. We strapped him up, I was still not wearing gloves. I did attempt to hold them in my hands for possible use once before this moment but it didn’t happen. The second time I was aware they should be on was attempting the NPA, I was sticking my fingers up and around this man face without gloves and truthfully, I still don’t care. We got the man upstairs. I was told to setup my stretcher and fought my way around my partner to retrieve his keys because mine were missing with the thought that they had been seen in the bag, but it was actually my scissors I dropped in the bag. I was ready to go, I directed fire to place the patient on my stretcher, as per direction, but my guys partner had a different plan. Their truck was closer, but the direction was heard by all. Fire actually double checked with me that my truck was going to be in use, they heard the direction too. Sure, I did feel weird that I wasted time, mainly because I instantly go to having done the wrong thing but my guy found me at my truck, with my gear, and was bothereed by the lack of communication too. It seemed this partner was not a fan favorite. The ALS truck had a manual stretcher, there was enough strength for it. I thanked fire as always but to also show my appreciation in case they thought my initial comment still rung reality. One of them, a very handsome gentlemen, asked me if I had their BVM, which is a very odd question because it had been in use and at the time he asked, it was not in use, so there was no reason to maintain it. I wondered about this as the question settled, why did he ask that? Of course I wanted the reason to be that he wanted to make contact with me, although I had looked him straight in the eyes one or two times before this. He was really fine, no problems on my end. I drove my truck. ALS stated the he needed three minutes to stabilize for transport and we were out. I got in my truck, sweaty and full of adrenaline. I pulled up next to the ALS truck, where my boss and his handy man were present. They helped take the backboard out from under our patient. My boss asked me if the board was mine, I am pretty sure due to how silly the plastic looked, especially knowing we have better. At first I thought he was going to say that it’s the wrong board, but I am confident that a flat board, in case of cardiac arrest, is what was needed. He took my keys and put the board in the truck. I had offered to take care of my own equipment but he said he was right there, he really is the coolest (about 10% for this reason and 90% for other reasons). Before knowing the truck had planned to move within a few seconds, I backed my truck up to give them space to pull out of their spot. My boss gave me the fist, I halted. We took off. I held my phone in my lap with a video rolling, I was blasting, “I Don’t Love Her” by Gucci Mane, Rocko, and Webbie. You are not supposed to use your lights as the truck that follows but it is very hard for me to follow this direction. We made it to the hospital alive, I had listened to the song almost in full, twice. The patient was awake when we got there, and he surely had an attitude. He stated he was 72 and he does not do drugs. Later he admitted to smoking crack, given to him by a man on the subway platform, and he also states he was with a female having a beer. The man was out cold, I wonder how much dope was in that pipe! Do you think there is a clear statistic of the average dosage for overdose (of an opiod)? It is all about the tolerance (found online and in my head). Patient expressed annoyance with his current situation, stating that he didn’t do anything wrong. He was not aware, as usual, of every single person, the human resources and effort provided, something that we also have to look past to protect ourselves. I hope to not regret anything in life. I do not regret this time spent, that’s for sure. I was going to stop by the fire station on my way home to apologize or possibly have conversation with the men who helped out, something I wish I had done but found myself thinking like another and realizing nobody else would do that. I am finishing this post in the morning, at the station, tired as heck.