Have you ever heard someone say, they who will take their own life will not speak of such event? Sure, this is not always true, just like any other statistic in the world. How about someone say ignorance is bliss? Sure, some people do not always have the means to gain knowledge or even such to think to consider something different than what they are exposed to. These two ideas are immensily intertwined, as I see it.

So if we are assuming that generally the statistic shows that they who will take their own life will not speak of such act, which may not be as literal as it sounds, for their will always be signs: a form of communication. As I see it, this statement points out that this deep emotional dysfunction is one that is not as obvious as one would hope it would be. The amount of effort the individual is making within their own brain is not the same effort general society would observe externally. Obviously, this is an incredibly nuanced topic but I will make an attempt to articulate my understanding. I will throw in now that not only are those that are ignorant a mass amount that would never think to take their own life, they seem to be those that also do take their own life. Yes, I am stating that I strongly believe those who make this choice are ignorant, but they are much less to blame than those I would judge as ignorant who have close to no idea what it may feel like to be in such pain. Also, I do see both groups with strong correlation. I will get back to this. What follows may… may… be the most shallow of all my thoughts but we shall see. I am a big fan of a binary system so that is how I will show contrast in all explanations. I speak from personal experience. I cannot claim that what I say comes from anything else besides personal experience, right? Or is there no possibility of true experience for then I would not be able to tell the story? Okay, one would think an individual has exhausted all attempts to reach out for help before taking their own life, but that is not true. I find that this deep root grows within an individual parrellel to the experience/s that rewires them. I would even push this idea for an event lets say like warefare PTSD. It is not exactly the trauma itself that leads an individual to lose track of their mind, its beginning is their first idea to join the military. It is at that moment, that they begin to grow with compartmentalisation. Sure, you can claim this traumatic event came out of nowhere, but this only proves my point even more. Children born in certain countries of the Middle East are effected out of nowhere, with no capability of change, their own free will decided by their parents and those that threaten their life. Okay, claim their parents should have taken them out of an inviable country, but history may tell they do not have the means either. This ignorance is more understood than those that consciously choose to join the military. I am going to move on from this point but it is only fair that I state some who join the military were paved a path for this role. Okay, but at 18 there is much less defense for your lack of education on its possibilities for the rest of your life, and therefore I will argue, you grew an unstable track in your mind by choice. Those high probability PTSD patients die for their country.

The above digression came after stating that one would think an individual has exhausted all resources but they have not even attempted, which is why they are ignorant. Stay with me, if i can articulate this next point, I may be golden. So, major event and reshaping of brain chemistry happen simultaneously, slowly but surely. One may not reach out for pre prevention unfortunetly because they are adolescence with no blame for their ignorance just yet, or, they enjoy the subjective experience. It sounds harsh and of course I am open to discussion, but it is the only way I can make sense of this concept. Let me pull this card: we are in the 21st century, we are all exposed to technology, and we are all biologically human. 21st century tells me that anything absorbed through your senses has been developed for more than 2,000 years, and holds insight, evidence, and coalition properties. Therefore, exposure to anything different than that you are used to, should strike questions and concerns. Technology, simply a device that allows 911 to be pressed, is useful for a crisis. Taking your own life is understood as a crisis, correct? Even to those making said choice. Being biologically human, the biggest one, means we all have the means to understand eachother, right? There is nothing one can do that the other cannot? Something I believe fiercly. So, I say that the ignorance is understood for children, but this sounds strange, right? I do not think that those without easy means and understanding of how to follow through often find themselves taking their own life. I find the earliest age is one where not only do they understand how to, they must understand why. Can their reasoning of why they think they will not be able to feel differently be placed on their conscious adolescent mind? This is the hardest part. I’ll get back to this. Take away children, mental illness is a drug and it can be prevented. People strive for control, as I have stated in previous writing, and finding yourself ostrisized or feeling unique, with different experience, is a sense of control. The navigation in society becomes a lot easier for you because you are not maintaining an image that is one for others, which takes a lot of trial and error, and is hard to control; you are maintaining an internal dialogue that is special to you. This feeling can be such a high, it blinds you from the reality of compartmentalised sickness that will one day cause a rash decision. Sure, things can be so painful you have no idea you are doing such harmful things to yourself, happen, but it calls for very severe trauma. To repress is something that hit so far from home you have no control, but suppression is one we control, which tends to be most people’s reality. Tell me the truth, can you blame someone for getting hooked on drugs? Yes. One makes a very conscious decision to pickup something that’s harmful and with high risk. Can we not say the same about cognitive remedies for pain? Again, I think their is something enjoyable about it. I do want you to read this through, I will explain how I find this can be highly preventable, which is where the other party of ignorant humans comes in.

Alright. So we are all human, which means we are all capable of the same things. Sure, my father will say that that is not true for many reasons and I am thinking too idealistically. I understand, but you are giving too little power to those who have none and too much power to those who have it all. To bring up the binary system again, if one does not have balance, problems are inevitble. Obviously the world does not have balance. My idea… you could say… for world peace… is one that involves… balance? Even if you take it to the first two individuals walking the earth (obviously for this scenerio they are male and female because we need to carry this example to a society with more humans), the sharing of knowledge would form some sort of balance for they would grow to consider the other based on their experiences, even if they were with them when it happened. Sure, listening seems to have presented itself, but it is way more than listening. Humans have evolved so much that they use more energy to act as if they are listening when they really aren’t, rather than just actually listening. Okay, so to be clear, authentic listening is very useful, but only when it turns into action – which in my mind is a very useful technique for consolidation and change. So, it is more than just listening. Pure listening is for those that are book smart, a term that has never suited me, so I like to write it down into the ground. In that binary system the other term is street smarts, a term that suits me very well. With street smarts, you understand why you are making the decisions you are making. You understand who is presented with what deep rooted emotion and who needs some of the wealth shared. Do this make sense? There are people out there, and I am going to take those from an area in NYC as an example. Now, I do make fun of this area frequently, but it is by far not for no reason. I will point out that the whole area is not the same, but a large part is. I mean, I am confident in using the term, “(the) same.” Before what I assume will be a nasty drag, I do want to say that I see all human action as a human reality because even if I believe/want things to be different, and they aren’t, that has to tell me of a reality of how the human species will tend to evovle… natrually. So, I guess I appreciate the observation of groups like those from this area because it teaches me of a reality. Now, lets say I am able to generalize the inhabitants of this area because most all families are those derived from city workers. City workers are generally tradesman. Tradesman are those created from apprenticeship or trade school. Apprenticeship and tradeschool tend to be the option for those who do not have the willpower or finances to go to college. Willpower and finances tend to come from those with an education whether due to money or one who is not ignorant to that they are exposed to. So, what’s the conclusion? You are either smart enough to go to college, or you’re not. You land in a city job, generally… hopefully… but how come those with city jobs can be so good at their job and not have an intelligent bone in their body? Well, a trade works just like an uneducated family. You simply follow after your elders. You spend years watching and learning how to professionally cut a corner and you are good to go. Ok, enough with this. I am not sorry but I need this harsh reality that I believe in to shine so I can get to my point on how these individuals are effecting our society. When you do not experience for yourself, ask questions, expand your mind with possibility, you grow to attach very basic qualities to your person because you became complacent with lack of information. I wish I felt their was more power in this idea that we follow our elders, but again, we are in the 21st century, being an individual is not too hard, but it is much harder than just believing and copying what you are shown/told. NYC is the most diverse city in the world. I am not even sure those from this area know what that means. Anyway, this area is refelctive of most of our country. This cycle of lack of diverse thought and movement passes through the blood. To connect this to the heavy topic we started with, when there is no means to understand another, the scale gets heavier on one side. Wow, there is so much to unpack still. I hope it makes sense, this statement, “when there is no means to understand another,” I hope I have made it clear. When ones ignorance gets in the way of knowledge, connection, love, and life, we will always have an unbalanced scale. We need a desire for exposure, even if a bit painful, for it is the only way to gain balance among humans.

Here I am checking in the morning after writing the above and maybe I can make the picture even clearer. Robots are generally (besides AI… kind of) programmed to do exactly what their code tells them, they cannot think for themselves and change up what they are programmed to do. This is an analogy for the inhabitants of this area of NYC, which is more of an analogy for a major percentage of our country. What would happen if a robot is presented with a problem they cannot handle? It will malfunction, right? Maybe stop in its tracks and shut down? This is what happens to the ignorant. If they cannot understand something, they don’t ask questions or ponder what could have lead them to this point, they shut down. Now, unfortunetly humans are not robots, so they will continue to function on their own after this shutdown and it most likely looks like finding themselves brought back to life by relating to the others who don’t understand and them as a party making judgements of they they can’t understand. It is the only way they can maintain their power and control. Okay, see how this type of ignorance is a lot harder to write off? This does get a bit political, but I don’t know much of the history of politics so I am not sure when this voice of thought came about. I do know that those with desire of knowledge, those that speak eloquently, are thrown into a progressive pool that shutsdown the otherside very quickly. Remember, this type of shutdown is not a victory, it is a pure malfunction of cognition from those trained to develop very few neural pathways. This all being said, how do we change this? Well, this is very hard because not only is it their nurture at home, it has become part of their nature. They have succeeded in segregating themselves to exist amongst others of the same kind, building protection around their school of thought. This is difficult. Now, I work in NYC, as an EMT, amongst many of these individuals and it is kind of remarkable. Not only do you see the verbatim vocabulary and physical actions of those who were their mentors, there is almost a blindness to the patients reality. It is as if they are a different species almost. Boy is this hard to explain. Anyway, do you see what I see?

Ok, back to the children at the minimum age who make these choices, maybe they are the most contrasted evidence that there is a problem with ignorant people in our society. I am not sure why this “ignorant” word stands out so much to me. I think it is much more accurate than the word “uneducated,” because it shows their is a choice to be uneducated rather than being in an unfortunate economic situation. So, this young person statistic is hard to breakdown, but highschool students have a good statistic of suicide/ideation. I figure that a lot of this is the nurturing enviornment at school rather than solely home life. Children in adolescence are very reflective of home life, the bullies being the loudest of the expression. So, sure, maybe this childs home life isn’t the strongest and therefore they are more susceptible to coercion of thought at school. You cannot blame most children for being able to be coerced though, even if home life is strong. The adolescent years are very maluable for the influx of sensation is very intense and understanding is not only guided by adults in their lives, but by how their peers are digesting it as well. Now, the idea I stated previously about the enjoyment of this disease, remains partially true with the adolscent age group. I think the main difference, is their lack of experience to know that this train of thought is not the only way to go about this confusion. The bobble head sort of presentation of their peers may make it hard to feel cofident in their differences that they are unsure are understood by the others. This is why this ignorance is most unfortunate, but understood. I am leaving a baby elephant in the room, the parents and their philosphy of raising children… even though it seems they don’t have one, it is just copy and paste of their upbringing. These ignorant parents have not broken the cycle they were raised with, unfortunetly. They are almost coloquial in their infastructure. I think they need to just encourage their children to be different, if they so please; push them to experience what they haven’t, allow them free thought. They don’t even have to understand, but at least their childrens brains will dust off some cobwebs and find themselves with better connection to their peers and the world.

Hold your comments, especially those on they that commit, you are still here right? You cannot claim you know more than I. I’ve been in the gutter and I honestly have just found my way out. I sought the contrast of deranged vs healthy thought and I ran with derangement, for many years. I know I have asked questions and I will never stop. I am looking to be more ingenius than I already am. I think all humans are pretty much ingenius, I am not special, to be clear. I just desire such contrast in my life because I strongly believe it is the only way to understand. You now know what I mean by such contrast, correct? I will make every bad decision in the book, and as long as im still alive afterwards, I will be able with pure knowledge of where, what, why, when, how, to and not to do. This is very important. It is the only place where authentic guidance comes from. Whoever, whatever, created this universe, and the multitude of others… has provided us with infinity, there is no limit. Yes, we die one day, and some have gone early to teach us or this contrast I speak of, but death is necessary, for we need to provide the contrast for those that come after us. It is all bigger than you but you must play your part.