Are you hip to your internal dialogue? That that is impossible to explain to another? Where your sub conscious drags you to, with no ability to refrain. Sometimes the moments you wish you could properly express but will always end up as a peacful reminder of the one and only true relationship you have. That that moves at the speed of light, gone with a single blink. I know im corny but this is what it feels like to take a photo on a 35mm, with your eye narrowed into a 1×1 frame. Not only are you fighting to get a clear focus as life moves around you, the drive to take the photo in the first place is hoping to be stopped in time. A beautiful part about it is that that the muse is not in connection with you and your desire, it is simply an admiration. The moments without the barrier of the camera, I find to be difficult sometimes, I think we do tend to create imaginery diaglogue to the scene and then your clarity can get messed up, they hold a heavy, physical, internal explosion a lot of the time and you have to work to just move on. I find having the camera to be more pleasant for me, I am probably autistic for this, being unable to handle social or public situations. The camera offers a barrier, as I said: it does the talking.

Anyway, What are we (spreading the news) about? You may have forgotten at the time you read this… Knicks. In. Five. We got it. This was spectacular for our community. Real quick, before I paint another picture… hopefully, I. Will. Never. Leave. Bay. Ridge. This is actually a different area of my life that I have kind of tried to figure out but we will get back to this later within this post or in another. Also, have you ever tried to find new music by looking up a keyword? I haven’t until tonight… is this odd? I looked up “New York,” to hear of all that has to do with my house but maybe it would be cool to find other music through keywords… Okay. So, what does the New York Knicks winning a national championship feel like? For a Brooklyn girl, an athlete, a lover of unity and love? Please, give me grace on the cornyness…

Majority of me finds absolute phenomenal pleasure in this occurance, but I do want to get the other part of my feelings out now, before, yet again, the picture is painted. The other part of me feels that it feels like an ultimate waste of money and time. I just have to be honest, although by saying that, it could seem that I think athletes should not have a stage, but this is not true. I am not exactly sure what change I would bring to this area of society that I am bringing concern to, and I understand this may be a problem because complaints are bullshit without an excercise of change, but I do have ideas. I myself am an athlete and I am not on the world stage, obviously, but I do find that a lot of my pleasure in the sport comes from knocking all sorts of people into a different plane. I am not even that good, although I am. The fun is in multitudes of enviornment changes, etc. I just don’t know if I would want to monetize something so great. Sports (at least soccer) are best kept underground, just like everything that’s pleasurable is. When the money comes in, there is a lot more means for skewing, and misdirection of intention. Anyway, let us describe NYK National Champions 06/13/26.

I took myself around a bit of the city to try and document the scene during the game, I was semi successful on camera and loved the in person experience. I mean there is no point to human activity but that fact on its own means there is no reason not to do anything you could think of… genius. I mean I am reading Stephen Hawking’s Brief Answers and it is wonderful because there are a lot of possible “infinites” all around but at the same time, all we have experienced first hand tends to have a tangible element so what is the point of all that too. This physics philosophy of defining all things, has no point. I like how quickly I can digress. Anyway, it’s always fun to see the choices of others. I ended my night in Bay Ridge which is the place to be, besides maybe all the other native inhabitant areas like Staten Island and Long Island. I mean there is so much to say but it can be summed up into, what a blast to come together as a community with a common denominator. A denominator that has to do with the old and the new New York City, the best place in the world. I mean science let me out here, this is my home, and if God is not real, so blessings are not real, than I am scientifically superior for this fact. Laugh with me, don’t take me too serious. To expand my summarization, I find that this pointless, social, extra curriculur area of life is where our love really plays out because it is secondary and a choice. You make the decision hopefully due to enjoyment and what is enjoyment without love? So I found so much pleasure in this excuse to show all this love we constantly keep within us, aloud, on this evening. The Knicks were the cataylst, for a few hours, and for me, a few more weeks, for a major expression of love, something we all need. When everyone is tuned in, it is nice because those that may not feel capable of existing amongst others have an easy in. Sure, this burning of school bus is dangerous and probably there’s a lot more that didn’t need to be expressed as it was, but if you really think about it, it is very reflective of love. Obviously, you can say, it’s passion, going big, it shows the amount of energy this brings us, but there is a psychological explanation to this that is very powerful. Those that use something like arnsony or destruction as a form of expression, they possibly are used to this feeling that will then be exhibited in many, all the time. They lack love. They experience hardship. They have held it in and they explode when everyone explodes but it looks different. I guess this is just an idea, I have no idea, I have not researched or read, I just have a feeling. It is remarkable to find such intuition in human action, I am addicted to it. I am addicted to seeing all shapes, forms, vocabulary, feelings, etc. of the human species. I mean there is a man I have mentioned before who is quiet possibly sick in the head and 100% disrespectful to not only the mother of his children, but women in general, all because he is so insecure and stuck in his own head, but I desire him more than anyone I have ever laid eyes on. I know a lot better and he should have not been able to have my time a year ago, but I am obbsessed with seeing how he chooses to do things and… I love his expression of admiration towards me. I am so weak for this but I don’t care, I just can’t allow it to get in the way of me meeting a solid man, which I don’t think it is because I don’t meet men ever, im struggling tremendously, but at the same time, I am so utterly thrilled to live life as Mr. Solo Dolo. The big point of saying that is because I’m thinking about him at the moment, after I just texted him, and I am lying in bed at 8:40 PM trying to figure out the point of my life. I have created much reason and passion in my life, it will take me to the end, but at this moment, these words are being thrown up, I don’t have strong desire to express them properly and I guess that means I am tired, which is okay, I just want to feel a bit more productive tonight…. I think I will read. I want to turn my phone off for the remaining 9 days I have off, but it is hard for many reasons. Sorry to get off point, you can stop reading now. I wonder so bad what people think of my writing. I also wonder your definition on what it means to be smart, see below, I guess.

I feel bad for this, but there is someone in the department who tends to have a visitor, and they seperately and together, are utterly obnoxious. I mean the arrogant, smug demeanor that is so reflective of this lost interior, is something I am way too familiar with and I am so sick of it. These people (all that I have experienced) do have something to show for, they are, if we are going to break down these two words, intellectual, but not intelligent, does this make sense? I mean not only is it the element of book smart that they lean heavily on to display whatever sense of skill they want to have, they are tatical to a certain degree, which I do hold with high value, but there is something so not natural to them. I mean the smartest, more intelligent people who society may say could deserve to be… “obnoxious,” are well wise enough to be far from obnoxious. I mean I actually saw one of the dopest people I have observed try and get involved in the clique energy and it was sad. I mean who knows what I know, but a lot of people tend to try and situate themselves with people like this, and they almost allow themselves subordinate. Whatever, I am going to read.